Bridge to Nowhere–Top 10 Reasons for Sarah Palin’s Resignation

So Sarah Palin is resigning as Alaska’s Governor. So far, we have no indication why, but we have to assume the reason will come to light in the coming days.

Could any of these be her reason:

1. Wants to pursue playing the victim fulltime?

2. She’s Mark Sanford’s soul mate?

3. Entering a facility to handle her narcissistic personality disorder?

4. Overcome with grief over Michael Jackson’s death?

5. She is a gay American?

6. Torrid affair with Joe the Plumber?

7. Torrid affair with Jon Gosselin?

8 Torrid affair with Kate Gosselin!?!

9. Has converted and wants to replace John Travolta as posterboy for Scientology?

10. Wants to pioneer the practice of attachment grandparenting?

UPDATE: looks like it might just be (yawn) plain old corruption and embezzlement

A morbid joke

Here’s a joke I heard on the internets today:

So yesterday, Farrah Fawcett died and went to the pearly gates. St. Peter told her because of all the good she did on earth, she could have one wish. She thought about it for a second, and then wished for all the children of the world to be safe. Suddenly, Michael Jackson died.

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and the Dead Pool

So Ed McMahon died. Farrah Fawcett died. And now, Michael Jackson died.

Which leads us to the grim, inevitable question: Who’s next?

Look, I’m not rejoicing in the loss of anybody. But every year, celebrities die, and there is always an ensuing media spectacle for them, while people who do good every day get ignored. So let’s have a little fun with this.

I can think of three celebs circling the drain right now :

Walter Cronkite, who truly contributed to journalism and should be remembered when he passes, but will probably be upstaged by Jackson;
Patrick Swayze, who does seem like a decent human being but will no doubt upstage Cronkite; and
Ted Kennedy, who, if any justice is done, will be allowed to lie in state in the Capitol when the time comes.

All three are well documented as being very sick, so none of these will come as a surprise in the coming days, weeks or months. The end of summer usually brings us one hugely surprising tragic death though, and I don’t think Jackson will be the end of it. Maybe a major athlete? Another pop star–maybe Britney? Or, what if, God forbid, Michael J. Fox? Or even worse (for me)… a royal????

What are your guesses?